Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Understanding the Female Orgasm

More than 70 percent of women have faked orgasms on a regular basis, if not once or twice. But if you’re looking for a more satisfying sex life, experts says it’s time to start telling the truth—and stop “mercy faking.”
 World wide, every couple deserves a happy, healthy and fulfilling sex life. “Having that passion and that sexual connection in your relationship is what separates you from being room-mates and co-parents,”. “It’s really what gives you that intimacy, that connection, that life force, that life energy in your relationship.” Sex therapists say.
Part of achieving that, is understanding the different needs men and women have. “Women really want the romance, the connection, the emotional intimacy.
Men get there through being sexual. Women are inspired to be sexual because they have that closeness,”.
Women world wide are caught up in the pressure of sexually satisfying the man in her life…which is accompanied by fear of rejection and in the end left hanging in the bracket of sex while the man becomes the champion…Good news! Experts reveal simple steps for women to enjoy sex more……
Step 1: Tell the Truth
Faking it— “It’s an epidemic. Over 70 percent of women have faked orgasm if not on a regular basis, once in a while,” she says. Most women have probably done it at least once. If you want a more satisfying sex life, you have to start telling your own!
Dr. Berman even has a term for it—the “mercy fake.” “He’s trying so hard,” she says. “And she just knows that it’s not going to end sexual truths now. and she knows she’s not going to get there.”
Still, women don’t fake orgasms because they want to be deceptive, They do it because they feel a sense of inferiority. “She’s trying to give him what he wants, and she feels badly that she can’t and so she fakes it,”
If you’ve been faking it a while, it’s a hard subject to come clean about. It can also affect your relationship beyond the bedroom. “Every withhold that you keep from your partner is like a brick in a big brick wall between you and he. “Once it comes out, the guy feels totally tricked and he thinks, ‘Oh my God, if she can be this good of an actress, what else is she lying about?’”

Step 2: Ask for What You Want
If your needs aren’t being met in the bedroom, it’s time to start talking about them. “So many women, first of all, don’t even really fully understand their own bodies to know to ask for what they want,” “But even if they do know, they’re shy away about verbalizing it to their partner or directing their partner in some way.”
The conversation doesn’t have to start outside the bedroom. “Talk to him in the bedroom with gentle, positive direction, not negative direction,”
Step 3: Let Go of Negative Messages
If you grew up being told that sex is dirty or wrong, it’s time to stop listening to those nagging voices in your head. According to Dr. Berman, before you can start to overcome them, first you have to identify the negative messages holding you back. “Then think, ‘Okay, here I am as an adult woman. … Which of these do I really want to hold on to? Is this really what I’m about?’”. “It can be a really conscious decision to replace those negative messages with positive ones.”

Conquering the negative messages that haunt you in the bedroom can also help you improve other areas of your life. “You have to consciously create new messages to think of when you start to think those old ones “And you really have to train yourself to replace those old messages with new ones. And it’s actually easier than you think.
Sexual affirmations to help women get started:
  • This is good.
  • I am entitled to sexual pleasure.
  • I am a sensual, sexual woman.
  • I’m allowed to feel this.
  • This is good for my body.
  • This is good for my soul.
  • This is good for my relationship.

 Step 4: See Your Doctor
it may be that things are changing in your pelvic floor muscles, It may be that things are changing for you hormonally and could be you are on medications that are negatively affecting your sexual response. “Don’t rule out the physical when you’re looking at your whole sexual equation.” See your doctor.
One common medical issue is pain during intercourse
Step 5: Make Sex a Priority
It’s a good idea to put sex on your to-do list! While this may seem unromantic at first, it’s necessary precisely because there are so many other things in our lives that compete for our time.
“It feels unromantic at first [to schedule sex] because we have the misconception that sex is supposed to happen spontaneously, which it does in the beginning of the relationship when your dopamine centers of the brain are firing and everything’s new and you can’t get enough of each other,” “But that doesn’t work in a long-term relationship. If you wait for it to happen spontaneously, you’re going to be waiting forever.”
After a while, scheduling sex will stop feeling unromantic. “What you’ll find is when you know on that night that you’re going to have sex, or you know it’s your night or your afternoon or your morning, whatever works, you may shave your legs, you may be extra nice to each other, you start to anticipate it as something to look forward to,”. “And then you notice the next day how much closer you feel, how much nicer you are to each other. And it motivates you.”


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